Are you there God? It’s me, Darcy.
Omg. Omg. Omg. Only 12 more sleeps until The Gayest Show on Earth lands in Toronto!
I’m so excited for these shows I can barely concentrate on doing my kegel exercises…but it’s pride, so mama needs to tighten up.
I feel like a prepubescent girl waiting for her period – I’m scared, nervous, happy, elated, hungry? Who am I kidding, I’m always hungry. Between the weed and the kegels, I am constantly working up an appetite.
But again, it’s pride. I can eat in September. Especially when I think about all the ridiculously hot folks I have on the show with me. To think that if you added up comedians Trevor Boris, Gavin Crawford and Ian Lynch they would still equal less than what I weighed last year – it’s no wonder why I’ve been eating nothing but toilet paper and hot sauce.
Here’s the thing fictitious God, not only do I have the Tuesday Jun 26th filled with those 3 boys, I also have two amazing musicians – one of which is my best friend and the other is super hung, but what’s the fun in telling you who is who?! We can let the tequila do that for us.
I’m definitely a little more scared for Wednesday Jun 27th as it’s all lesbian comedians – don’t worry Diary, I’ll be there too, in fact to feel more at home I just went and bought a new Home Depot shirt. I don’t think my guest Queens for the night are lesbians, but they said they’re sisters so we can always hope!
Well I should probably go get ready for my back waxing appointment – I always like to shave a bit of the forest down there for them to avoid those judgy looks.
Maybe you could pass on details about the shows and tell people to come? Some people listen to you.
Tues Jun 26th
Comedians Trevor Boris, Ian Lynch, Gavin Crawford, Ted Morris, Andrew Johnston. Musicians Dominick Abrams and Carl Johann. Plus some special surprise guests! (read: my nuts will fall out of my short shorts)
Wed Jun 27th
Comedians Dawn Whitwell, Linda Ellis & Elizabeth Hotson. Drag Queens Fay Slift & Miss Fluffy Souffle. With more music by Carl Johann and Dominick Abrams!
Well God, I gotta go now! Thanks for always being there to listen. And ignore the magazines I was reading under the covers last night. They were for research.